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�i still canapos;t believe it. That theres nothing left to believe. But when everything is recognized, and nothing is realized, what is left to remind me of the times when I defined the rules of my mind. I can sit around and wait for it to haunt me in my dreams. I can fight it off by disguising myself in a cloud of smoke and a mask of normality. But that just wouldnapos;t be my style. My style.

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So after putting it off, oh, the whole day, itapos;s time to get down to bizness on this paper. Rode the bike over to the library a few minutes ago and got some books on my feminist writer topic, Margaret Fuller so I can have my "atlteast one book source."

Downloaded a few records the past few days and am finally getting them uploaded: Lstn2 [an urban outfitterapos;s FREE mix from their blog]/ Har Mar Superstarapos;s full length from 2004 [has Karen O on one song, so he gets a few more props from me for that] and in prep for Monday found the Faintapos;s new record.

Can I just say Iapos;m pretty pumped to see them live and just dance and have a sweet time?
Well, I am.
I look to leave Cannery Ballroom covered in sweat and with a smile on my face.
I highly think this will be possible.

I think Iapos;m going to walmart to buy food later. Atleast something to eat tonite. Iapos;m sick of what I have to chow down on and a frozen meal actually sounds amazing...Iapos;m still reeling from the HUGE brunch at cracker barrel today with ht and a few handfuls of cereal around 6 when I got back to the apt.

Anyways, Iapos;m gonna hop on this paper, probably need ice cream before too long [itapos;s either ice cream or booze. I feel a little better when I choose ice cream] and previously mentioned frozen dinner.

yep.
-jen

[btw: today = did better on the whole "IS HE GONNA CALL???" thing. Granted i am kinda wondering if heapos;s gonna, but I feel as if itapos;s been more apos;statedapos; and my thoughts are out in the open and itapos;s not my call, not my worry. Off to the feminist]
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I am getting closer to wanting only 1 job but that might not last. Part of me wants to get a 3rd job for the holidays to finalise my bills and when my raise take effect, have minimal debt.

Speaking of work. Main job was fun today. Playing tour guide for visitors from france. Wearing my spiffy tie.
At lunch before we talk about deals and stuff.

Now the other joy
Anyway. Last nites concert was the dumb and I was dumb for working it. 4 emo bands. 2000 people. Zzzzzzzzzzzz
Ah well. Got to hang out with Kailey so life is good. Having dinner with her thursday before she goes and plays with hawt chicks on the beach. Giggity
Lol.

This weekend is busy again

Friday hockey then home
Sat hockey then Merc for friends bday.
Sunday double feature of Sexdrive at 1140 Pacifc place . Lunch. Then Max payne at Regal 16 at 230.

Should be awesome day of movies.

Tonight cleaning apt and I have been neglecting guitar hero.

Btw. I have might have an extra tix to Apocalyptica next thursday. Any takers of the female persuasion?

Later and enjoy the prez debate drinking game my friends
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Haha - I wish Anyway, I got two very very good applicants for the apartment on Friday night.

Oooh, first an aside story to let you know how absolutely fucking frustrating this business can be. I set appointments up maximum two days before showing because otherwise people find something and cancel on me. At 2pm Friday afternoon I made an appointment with "Missy". She really wanted to come see it but worked until 6 so made an appointment for 7:15. It would have been my last appointment of the day. At 6:15 "Trish" called me and booked for 7:30. I figured I might as well just stay there (my 6:45 showed up at 6:30, my 6:30 didnapos;t show up at all, so I had to wait around for an hour).

Anyway, "Missy" never showed up at 7:15 and Trish never showed up at 7:30 Gah They had talked to me mere HOURS before No calls to cancel or re-schedule, just no-shows. Then, to top it all off, Missy emailed me YESTERDAY (Tuesday) to say that sheapos;d had to work late on Friday and could she please come see the apartment today? DKFakhIHJFKDSJ$@*(@(#*~

Phew. I feel better now. Anyway. The tenants. Two very good applicants - one a young (27)recently engaged couple, both working at decent jobs, seem very with it and intelligent, getting married next September and saving their money accordingly. I would place good money on a bet that they buy and move before a year is up. They say 2 years - we shall see. The second a mid-40s woman and her boyfriend, moving from Owen Sound. No job lined up yet, but will be easy to get one since sheapos;s a cleaning lady, and a sizeable amount in the bank from proceeds of home sale after a divorce last year. Her daughterapos;s fiance is dying of leukemia here in Hamilton and she wants to be nearer, and along with that, farther from her ex (not the daughterapos;s father). Sheapos;ll probably be here for awhile, but the no job right now thing is sticky.

We decided to go with the kids. It was a tough decision and I really got a good feeling from the mom. So I went on a hunch and offered her the 1-bed 3rd floor at the new house (yes, the one I donapos;t even own yet). She may only be there for a few months but it gets me through the winter and I can concentrate solely on getting the 3-bed fixed, painted, and rented before Christmas. Itapos;s quite a bit smaller than the Lottridge 1-bed but she accepted On photos She just wants to get down here and take care of her daughter. I am guessing that when the fiance dies sheapos;ll move out, but itapos;ll be spring by then (sheapos;s moving in Dec. 1).

Anyway, everyone is happy and I am totally awesome.

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I love my Yoga class -- Yoga Soup. Tonight wasnapos;t the hardest workout, but it usually gets me thinking and aware of my body. And tonight there were SO many men I wish I had worn my contacts so I could have seen more of them when they go shirtless. Itapos;s funny because our instructor always talks about how we should love our bodies, and how our breath loves our shapes, and we should work out for health, but everyone in the class is so hot And flexible. I mean, itapos;s ridiculous. I donapos;t wear corrective lenses during class so I donapos;t get intimidated and can release. Itapos;s actually lovely to let go like that. I think Iapos;m letting go a lot these days.

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Oh itapos;s late, and I have school tomorrow. I Should get to bed since Iapos;ve missed all last week and yesterday from being so sick, and I need to go tomorrow for sure. Before that though, I have a few questions for you girls/guys (any guys?):

First, Iapos;m 5apos;1" and 92 lbs. Whatapos;s your opinion of this? I love honesty by the way. ;)

Secondly, anybody found foods that are Safe to eat, but will actually do something to keep me...healthier? Not dying is my #1 concern right now. Iapos;m the type that finds it easier to completely NOT eat at all. But I need to eat something. Any ideas?

Much love to all in this community, you guys are all so sweet and supportive

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Ever have those weeks where stuff is sweet and going well, but you have so much on your mind you want to explode?

Well...itapos;s one of those weeks for me.

To start off the weekend was amazing. Sabine Meyer concert was total ballin�Then on top of it she signed my program, and I�got to meet her up close and personal. I was about to die, and I�mean literally. I was shaking so badly. She is like my clarinet idol and she is a total goddess. Otherwise Friday night the Symphonic Concert went extremely well along with Wind Symphony. Both bands sounded awesome, and the rep that was played rocked the house. Another comment goes out to the awesome EMUSO.�They rocked the shit out of there concert, and not only did they sound amazing, but they blew me away on how good they are this year. Lastly BOA�Regional was a total good time. I�was working the warm-up area as a guide. It was nice to get up close and personal with the directors, even though they were a little tense. For the most part each of them was great, and all the bands including EMUMB did a fantastic job.

So that was basically my weekend. It was full of music and hard work, but it rocked and was the best weekend so far this year.

This week however is full of music, but really has been hard, but awesome at the same time. Monday was a total bore until the night. David McClune one of DCapos;s good friends came and brought his mouthpieces with him. Of course I pick one out, and fall in love with it. Now I�have to decided if I�want to buy it.�They guy knows his stuff though, and I�am so glad I�met him.

Today was boring. I accidently skipped a class, oops not really accidently I kinda did on purpose just because I�was so tired today. I then woke up and went to work, then choir, which was awesome, and finally band. We are playing so hard shit in band this part of the season, but weapos;ll be able to pull it off.

So thatapos;s so far this week. Iapos;m excited to have the choir concert then hang out with people after. No clue what or who I am doing stuff with?? Thatapos;s all up in the air. Wednesday is busy so Iapos;ll fill you in on that later. Love you all. Goodnight.

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